I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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