we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
