just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
