So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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