Duck Duck Cougar?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
