Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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