I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
