You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
