Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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