so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
