Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
