We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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