i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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