party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
