ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Houston, we have a blender
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
