I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
