saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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