what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
