ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
