1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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