I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
