Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
