So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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