dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
