who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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