he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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