Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
