It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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