Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
