It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
