so explain again why im purple
no
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
