So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize