So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
