i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
