Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
