At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
BRING THE BAGELS
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
