8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
be right there i have to get my cape
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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