I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
