i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
