I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
