I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
