According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
