Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
