Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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