All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
