i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
