We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
