i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
