sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
