Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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