1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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