It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
